Really, I love food, but you can never go wrong with a sandwich. It’s one of the few foods that I’ll eat anytime—breakfast, lunch or dinner. Whenever I go to visit my parents, my mother makes sure to have cold cuts in the fridge, because she knows I’ll get up in the morning and make a sandwich.
I love an Italian sub—meat, cheese, lettuce, tomato, vinegar and oil—I don’t know if there is a better sandwich out there. It will be a major drag if I never eat one again. I say that because I had a recent bad experience with an Italian sub. I was in Florida, on business, and had an Italian sub for lunch. If you’ve ever had food poisoning, you will understand that the next day-and-a-half was miserable for me, and now I’m wondering if I’ll ever enjoy another Italian sub again.
Why did it have to be the perfect food? Why couldn’t I have gotten sick after eating a waffle? I could see never eating a waffle again, it wouldn’t be tragic. There’s still pancakes, right? Or maybe a bagel—bagels are barely tolerable as it is—I could go without bagels indefinitely and be no worse for wear.
If it had to be a sandwich, why did I have to get sick from an Italian sub? Couldn’t it have been a turkey sandwich? Turkey sandwiches are plain anyway. They’re like the diet food of sandwiches. I wouldn’t have any problem giving up turkey sandwiches.
No, it had to be an Italian sub, and that’s why I know that there is an intelligent force at work in the universe. There is an intelligent force with a sense of humor. When I think about it, I have to laugh as well. I don’t talk much about religion, but I’m basically a Stoic by nature. So my philosophy is to accept what happens and keep going. You got me good this time, universe, you got me good.
Well, at least I still have the club sandwich.