I talk about all my favorite things on this blog except food. Why you ask? (you know I’m going to tell you anyway.)
My brain works in peculiar ways, and I often feel it is just as important to explain why I don’t do things than it is to explain why I do. This habit has been reinforced over the years by having to explain to my wife why I didn’t wash the dishes, or any number of other tasks that I should have done in her estimation. (sound familiar?)
So why don’t I blog about food and cooking?
Cooking is actually one of my favorite things. I love to cook and share food with friends, but there is a difference between sharing food with a friend and the food videos I see all over the internet. Here’s the difference:
I like to play a game with my mom when we talk on the phone. If I made something for dinner that I know she loves, I’ll say “guess what we’re having for dinner?” Then I’ll describe the dish in detail and, of course, invite her over to share the meal. My mother lives six hours away. So, in essence, I’m rubbing her face in it. I’m saying “Nah, nah! See what I got and you don’t.” If I really want to get her goat, I’ll take a picture and text it to her. Of course, she does the same to me.
Those food videos and pictures all over the internet are basically the same thing — “Look what I got!” Oh yeah, you can have some too. Just rummage through the pantry and try to find all these ingredients (Who keeps capers in their pantry anyway?). And good luck getting it right!
Don’t show me food that I can’t eat. It’s like going to a topless bar (or watching Magic Mike for you ladies I suppose). What’s the point?
So I’ve decided that I will start a food blog just as soon as someone develops a food replicator like in Star Trek. I’ll happily share my food with you online. I’ll just shove a slice of lasagna in the chute, and you can pull it out of your replicator without having to rummage through the pantry.
Until that happens, I guess you’ll just have to come to Charlotte if you want to check out my cooking. Tonight we’re having BLT’s. See you at seven.