Category Archives: Editing

Anniversaries, Writing, and Fat-boy Pants

Yesterday was my 30th wedding anniversary.  As I tell my wife, it’s been thirty looong glorious years.  It was also her birthday (I’m not saying how many, because I want to live to see another day), and my parent’s wedding anniversary.  As if that wasn’t enough, I finished the latest revision of my book (Now called Quarrel) and am preparing to send it to my editor.

We are up in the North Carolina Mountains with some friends, at our favorite getaway spot.


I love visiting the mountains.  It is so peaceful and rejuvenating, especially after the past week.

What are Fat-boy Pants?

I mentioned about a week ago that I popped the button on my shorts while preparing to attend Supercon in Raleigh.  To add insult to injury, the next day I was trying on my dress pants in preparation for a trip to the corporate office.  A few pair were a bit snug in the waist.

I told my wife that the elves must have snuck in at night and adjusted all my pants.  In my defense, I’ve had some of those pairs of pants as long as I’ve been married (style, what’s that? You mean it actually changes?), but it still stung.  Of course, my wife’s solution was to say, “Just pull out your fat-boy pants.”

I have one pair of pants that is a size bigger than the rest.  We call them my fat-boy pants because I only break them out when the others are feeling a bit snug.  Another reason that I call them my fat-boy pants is that breaking them out gives me the incentive to say no to the sweets.

Unfortunately, I had cleaned out my closest last year and got rid of the fat-boy pants.  I think my words at the time were, “I never wear these things.  I don’t need them anymore.”  Ahhh, somebody’s laughing at me right about now.  Oh yeah, it’s my wife.

Laughter is the key to a long marriage.

When I asked my wife why she’s stayed married to me for so long, she said, “Because you make me laugh.”

I guess popping buttons and giving away my fat-boy pants are just another day filled with laughter for her.  Of course, one of her primary missions in life it to make sure I stay with her to the end, so she only laughed for a moment and then told me that we’re going to start walking farther on our daily walk, and that I needed to get back to the gym.

Right after that, I got on a plane to the corporate office.  And wouldn’t you know it, my first morning there they had the most awesome looking donuts I had ever seen.  Yes, I resisted them, and the cookies for lunch every day, and the Panera Bread chocolate brownie.  Man, getting old sucks.  I used to be able to eat all that stuff and still thumb my nose at those fat-boy pants.

Luckily, all the rules are off when we’re on vacation (Not to mention for our anniversary).  Since we’ve been in the mountains, I’ve had a couple of donuts, ice cream, and some candy.  I know I’ll pay later, but what the heck, you only celebrate your 30th once, right?

And don’t forget the Writing.

I’m also celebrating the last revision on Quarrel.  I finished it up yesterday morning.  I say last revision, but, it’s not over until I get the comments back from the editor.  Still, getting the thing to the editor always seems like the biggest hurdle in the process.  Be looking for Quarrel around Christmas time.

One last thing for yesterday.  My free book giveaway for the Order of the Wolf ended, but you can still get Stenson Blues and The Eastern Factor at a discount until August 9th.


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Filed under Books, Editing, Humor, musings, Philosophy, Writing

Now Hear This…Now Say This?

Listen all you slug-a-beds, we’re about to lose some words.  According to experts there are several words that will soon be lost from the English language:

Academics uncover 30 words ‘lost’ from English language

Hey, I’ve been know to make up a word on occasion.  Wouldn’t it be easier to just use one of these instead before they disappear completely.

I’m all awhape over this, so let’s get busy.

Thanks for your ear-rent.



Filed under Editing, Reading, Words, Writing

Who’s Telling your Story?

Often, when I am critiquing others I’ll ask:  Who is the Point of View character?  This probably isn’t technically accurate.  Point of View (POV) in fiction writing has to do with the narrator more than the character.  There are many references available on point of view, so I’ll just give a basic definition for each:

  • First Person POV— The narrator is the main character telling the story.
  • Second Person POV— The narrator is telling the story about the reader, essentially making the reader the main character.
  • Third Person POV—The narrator is telling someone else’s story.

To break this down a bit further, third person POV can be written as third person limited or omniscient.

  • Third Person Limited—The narrator follows the perspective of one character (at a time).
  • Third Person Omniscient—The narrator knows all and tells the story from such a perspective.

Second Person is not common.  Most fiction is either written in first person or third person POV.

First person, to me, is easier.  You are completely immersed in the view point character.  It is much easier to stay in that point of view as a writer.  I have spoken with many writers, especially new writers, that like first person because it is easier to stay on task as far as POV goes.

Third person Omniscient was very popular last century, but not so much today (especially in genre fiction).   Besides, third person limited is more effective at immersing the reader in the story.

So, I’m back to my initial point.  Why do I often ask writers:  Who is your POV character?  It is because the story is either written in third person omniscient, or third person limited and the author is not limiting the POV to one person.  For me, Omniscient is a turnoff in modern fiction, so I’ll always shy away from it as a reader and writer.

The true problem I see is third person limited that it is not limited.  I like simple writing—a story told from the viewpoint of one character.  I want to immerse myself in that character, and see things from their point of view.  Unlike first person, it is much harder to do this in third person limited.  The author must be aware of the POV perspective in every sentence, paragraph, and scene.  It is easy to deviate.  Here is an example:

John hated his job, but needed the money.  The only thing positive about working for United Rentals was Karen.  He stole a peek at his co-worker as she waited on a customer.

Karen saw him looking and frowned.  She wasn’t remotely interested in John, but didn’t know how to tell him.

So the first paragraph is from John’s perspective, and the second is from Karen’s.  This is third person omniscient, which makes it harder for the reader to become immersed in any one character.  For me, and I think most modern readers, it jars you out of the story when the perspective changes between different characters within a scene.

Now here is the same passage told exclusively from John’s perspective:

John hated his job, but he needed the money.  The only thing positive about working for United Rentals was Karen.  He stole a peek at his co-worker as she waited on a customer.

Karen saw him looking and scowled back at him.

John quickly looked away, pretending to shuffle some papers.

So I never truly leave John’s perspective, but the gist of what’s going on hasn’t really changed.  This is a pretty blatant perspective change and easy to spot.  Here is another example from a novel I am currently revising:

Edmond’s sister, Rowena, stood at the table just below the sword and chopped vegetables for the evening meal, oblivious to the sword or Edmond’s intent stare.  He barely noticed her, maybe a hint of her flaxen hair tugged at the edge of his vision.  She would have been appalled if she knew, her fair locks were her pride and joy.  She finally looked up and scowled at her younger brother.  “Father will stretch your hide if you don’t stop staring at that sword and get to your chores.”

Her voice startled Edmond into motion.  

This scene is told from Edmond’s Perspective, but is more focused on his sister Rowena.  While it touches upon what she would think (because Edmund knows how she would react), it doesn’t actually delve into her thoughts.  The POV is still limited to Edmund.  Now, the POV is not tightly limited to Edmund, because the narration shows her actions that Edmund doesn’t truly see, except maybe out of the corner of his eye.  So there is a bit of a POV gray area in relation to her actions.  My take is:  Because Edmund is in the room and can see her actions even though he is not particularly paying attention to them, it is close enough.

This is the point I’m trying to make:  The writer should be looking at POV on this level to ensure consistency.  If the POV character in a story written in 3rd person limited cannot see the action, hear the conversation, or read the other person’s mind then it should not be in the narration.  Find another way to show it.  Yes, it’s harder, but it makes for a more immersive experience for your reader.


Filed under Editing, Writing

How Many Drafts does it Take?

Tootsie owl

I’m working on the 3rd draft of my latest project. I still don’t have a good title for it, right now I’m calling it Wolf Book 3. As I was sifting through reader feedback, I wondered how many drafts it normally takes for me to get that completed feeling.

I looked back at the last couple of novel projects to see how many drafts I wrote and the magic number is 5. Here’s the breakdown:

Draft 1 — This is the true first draft, where I write it and let it sit for a bit. I typically like to wait at least a month before draft 2.

Draft 2 — Here is the first rewrite. In the past my 1st drafts were pretty bare bones, and I would add quite a bit of detail in the 2nd draft, but lately I’ve had to cut stuff out instead. After this draft, I send the manuscript out for reader comments and/or to a critique group.

Draft 3 — This is the draft where I incorporate feedback that I receive from readers/critiquers. I typically make changes based upon the feedback but don’t dive into a total rewrite.

Draft 4 — After I let the reader feedback percolate a bit, I come back and do my final re-write. This is where I print it out, read it aloud, and re-write until I can’t anymore. After this draft it goes to the editor.

Draft 5 — I make changes based upon editor’s comments and do a final proofread.

We all know that there is no correct way to do this stuff, but this is the way that seems to work for me. How about you?

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Filed under Editing, Writing

Editing Anyone?

I finished the UCSD Copyediting certificate program.  The program consisted of four quarterly classes: Grammar Lab, Copyediting I, II, and II.  The editing project for the last class was pretty challenging.  I recommend this to anyone who is looking to improve their grammar skills and who wants to learn how to use copyediting marks, style sheets, and all that other editor stuff.

This is just one step forward for improving my own writing and helping my fellow writers.  Eventually (sooner rather than later) I plan to dive into the editing side of the business.  In the meantime, I would like to practice the skills I learned.

Any writers out there looking for an edit?  I prefer to start with smaller works.  I would rather look at short stories or essays than a novel at this point.  Yes, this is a freebie, but I am not adverse to trading edits.  I have a few short stories that could use some feedback.

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Filed under Editing, Writing